allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
