Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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