i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
