awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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