i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
