btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize