hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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