i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
