this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize