Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
