it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
