I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
