All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
