well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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