Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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