I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
