I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
