The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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