Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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