Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
