I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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