shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
