I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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