Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
