pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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