I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize