I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
