I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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