his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
