She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
