haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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