my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want her autograph on my taint
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
