Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
