I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
