STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
