listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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