what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
