Can i not drive my cunt home
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
