Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
