apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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