He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
