im drinking this country out of the recession.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize