I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
