It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
