you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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