He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
