You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
