The maid of honor just puked.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
