I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
