Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
