Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
